Yes, you read that headline right. I have a portable, table-top washing machine. And by machine, I mean me.

Here’s the thing: when I bought this cottage almost 19 years ago, it was a cottage, not a home. It didn’t have a washer and dryer because, well, it’s a cottage and I take my laundry home to Toronto to do it. Or in a pinch, head to the Parry Sound laundromat.

These days I no longer have a home in Toronto, and I don’t feel like self-distancing in a laundromat, even though it is an essential service. So what does one do in that situation? One heads to Wayfair in the search for an inexpensive solution to keeping my unmentionables clean. Oh, and the mentionables too.

After the unboxing, I put the Laundry Pod on the counter to see how the thing worked. It’s light as a feather. Of course. No mechanical parts. Except the handle. That would be rotated by me.

Yep. It’s truly a salad spinner for underpants.

I tested it out yesterday with great success. I was able to put six pair of underpants, three pair of socks, and a pair of jeans in the basket! I put the pod in the shower stall and filled it with warm water to the top of the garments. I added the teeniest amout of detergent then went to work.

The instructions suggest the wash cycle is about 1-2 minutes. So after I soaked the garments, I selected a two minute song by the Beatles to spin by, and away I went. Let me tell you, this doubles as an upper-body workout! Not in a bad way, though, because Beatles and environmentally friendly clean clothes. The pod is equipped with a drain hose. I opened the valve and down the drain the soapy water went! The “spin cycle” to remove excess water is the real workout. High intensity for sure, well, as much as you want it to be.

Then the rinse cycle. I filled the pod again to just cover the garments, and set up another two minute Beatle song as a timer, and off I went again. Same process, same workout. After a second rinse, the clothes were done. Ok maybe they are wetter than those that come out of the traditional washer after an intense spin cycle, but hell, I had clean clothes! And a drying rack! And a sunny, breezy day.

I was so pumped I did a second load. This time, flannel pajama bottoms, two t-shirts, and a couple of dish towels. Success again! Although the temperature dropped like a stone and I had to bring the drying rack in for fear of having frozen – yet clean – clothes.

So this is something I have done to tide me over until it’s safe to go out again. I might be able to to do one sheet at a time, so that’s still an issue as I have no clothes line yet (next project). I will still have to rely on the kindness of several of my neighbours up here to help with sheets. In a totally self-distancing, germ-free way of course.

This has weighed on me a lot. It’s funny the things that panic people in a pandemic. Things taken for granted. Well, we are ALL pioneers now!